I used to blank out all the time.
Right in the the middle of a conversation....
It was frustrating to say the least. A tragic combination of embarrassment and powerlessness.
I'd have trouble finding the right words. I would want to say something. But didn't know what to say. And the craziest part was the harder I tried the more I'd blank. I'd have nothing to say.
On the outside I was smiling and nodding my head. But on the inside I was freaking out. I just needed something to say!
“...the harder I tried the more I’d blank. I’d have nothing to say.
THAT'S WHY I LOVE CONVERSATION THREADING.
It's a technique you can use in any conversation. It lets you relax and easily come up with what to say next.
Here's the basic concept: When you're talking to someone, a thread is a word that interests you.
Anything that sparks something in your brain -- a memory, opinion, or feeling, for example.
During a conversation there will be dozens of threads. So listen carefully. Every word can be a thread.
And conversation threading is simply pulling on a thread using a statement or aquestion. So as someone talks, listen for a word that interest you, and then use it to continue the conversation.
So for example, let's say someone says...
"TODAY I WENT TO THE PARK WITH MY DOG."
A short sentence but filled with tons of information. In this sentence, there's 3 threads that you could pull on. And each of these opens up a whole 'nother line of conversation.
1. SO YOU COULD TALK ABOUT TODAY...
...Today's the perfect day for the park.
...You have any other plans for today?
2. YOU COULD TALK ABOUT PARKS...
...Which park did you go to?
...I went to Yosemite park last year.
3. OR YOU COULD TALK ABOUT DOGS...
...What kind of dog do you have?
...Dogs are the best.
...That show dog whisperer is great.
This creates natural transitions from one topic to another.
Flowing, effortless conversations are the best. That's what we're aiming for.
Most people worry about what to say next. They end up not really listening and then missing all these juicy threads.
Whatever sparks something in your mind. Try not to filter yourself and let the conversation flow.
Dan
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